What marriage and relationship lessons can be learned from the Beyonce's Lemonade revelations? Several, but here is my take-away...
Beyonce' and Jay Z are notoriously elusive about the their relationship. To the rest of the world, they have maintained a united front; a wall of silence that is only alluded to in lyrics, short peeks into their life allowed in Instagram posts and the occasional released video. What they have mastered over the past few years is the use of America's tabloid obsessed culture to allow glimpses, be they real or contrived, into the ups and downs of their marriage.
So when Lemonade dropped, we hung on every word of poetry that Beyonce' expressed intimating pain, neglect, betrayal, abuse, reconciliation, forgiveness, and progression. We all gasped when at the end of "Sorry", when the now-infamous words were repeated "He better call Becky with the good hair."
Does this actually mean that Jay Z cheated on Beyonce' with a "Becky with good hair"? How could he!! And WHO IS BECKY!!!!!! [5 bee emojis here]
A Hit Dog Will Holler, but Why?
Alright, so those of us who follow this stuff now know that designer Rachel Roy (side-note: her plus size line, RACHEL Rachel Roy Curvy, actually has a few really cute pieces), allegedly jumped out front as "Becky" via an Instagram post. Then there is Rita Ora (singer? actress? I dunno) who is also allegedly sending messages that she may be the mysterious "Becky". Maybe they felt guilty for any role they may have played in the Carters' marital strife? Perhaps they just wanted to send a message to Beyonce' of some sort. Both of these women were not really getting any headlines before inserting themselves into this story-line, but are now receiving more attention than they can handle from the Bey-Hive. Why would they even feel the need to out themselves as the person that caused another woman pain? Why would you include yourself in a narrative that could have potentially ripped a family apart? Why would anyone want to raise their hand to try to take shine that they did not earn? Don't miss the forest for the trees. There is a lesson beyond the tabloids and social media messiness. Stay focused.
Here's what I think. I feel that the Lemonade album is a collage of experiences shared by women everywhere. The actual names of the people are, to me, irrelevant. Rita and Rachel may as well have been Jane, Maria, or Tyneisha (random names; if this is you, well Sorry!). It doesn't matter. Lemonade taps into the feelings that most women have felt at one time or another in relationships. Who among us hasn't been cheated on, dumped, or passed over for someone else over their lifetime? *raises hand* We all have. So for any of the women who are jumping up to claim the "Becky" label... chill out, thirst-bucket, this isn't about you.
Sandcastles, Healing, and Love All Night
Much more than the tabloids and overall hype, Lemonade is a woman's journey in and through love in its truest form. In my own wedding, I made it a point to include I Corinthians 13 in our ceremony because of the definition of love contained within its verses, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud... it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." Relationships are never linear, and we grow to understand that although life and love can take many turns, true love is the strongest, most magnetic bond that can exist between two people.
In Lemonade, we see the musical and visual illustration of the journey of love. Beyond the scandals, the betrayal, the name-calling, the sensationalism, and the hurt, remains a story of a couple who managed to return to what brought them together in the first place, despite it all. It's not about Beyonce' or Jay Z, or Becky or anyone else. This story is about anyone who has been on love's journey, for all of us who can relate. This story called Lemonade ends with reconciliation, forgiveness, humility, and hope... all of the attributes required for healing and moving forward.